Sunday, April 05, 2009
I have completely no idea why I'm back here after striking off blogging.
Okay, maybe I do have some idea. I always write when I feel nostalgic or unhappy orrr when I just feel like typing incessantly, so here I am.
Past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, the current had swept me off my feet, spun me around in the air for a few shortlived moments before plunging me right back into concrete. Brilliant experience nonetheless, but it would be difficult to replicate.
I hate farewells, I think I've mentioned this countless times but still I can't bring myself to accept the inevitable fact that people come and go and that change is the only constant. Soon enough, the seniors will be leaving and things will never be the same again. They probably wont know it cos I dont show it, but I treasure their presence and it's not the same if people who used to make it what it is aren't there anymore, the feeling's just different. I think I was being wilful on Friday when I was pissed at you and you. It's just that I realised what I feel about you guys may not be the same as what you feel about me and that isn't a good feeling. I'm sorry I couldn't put that into words that time and that the reason I gave was a valid but cover-up excuse. I wish that we never grown so apart in the first place and this wouldn't have happened, but I'm glad we're back on the same track, well sort of. I don't think I've ever come this close to being so emotional here, this is a start at least.
Anyway Xianhui wanted me to blog about her, and this is in tune with what I said above, so here goes. I've missed you alot, missed having you by my side 24/7 and telling you everything that comes to my mind. Now I've to wait for your breaks, or for mornings at the concourse, or online conversations etc. however all these are pathetic substitutes of the past. It's already set in stone that we can not mirror the past so I guess we'll just have to make do and fit into the mould that our present hands us.
I promise a happier post next time round, if there's time for a next time.
(I'm seriously drowning under piles of work.)