Tuesday, October 09, 2007
EOYS ARE OVERRRRRRR but it doesnt feel like what it is supposed to feel like. that's so contradicting. it's a huge relief i'm speaking of. the only exam i really felt i was fully prepared for was physics cos i started way early. too early i think. the others were sheer crap. i should have spent more time on chem and math but i didnt. that was plain stupid. now i screwed both of them up. probably have to take them Rpapers next year. but at least i worked harder for these papers than the review week papers. hope i see some results. especially for physics and langarts.
i got lost yesterday. i took 196 all the way to commonwealth mrt station. & the thing is, i was supposed to go ICA. apparently the bus directory book i have is outdated or dead wrong for it stated that 196 goes to ICA. i thought i would get to see some dhs people since commonweath's the station after buona vista. pity it's all puny sec1s i saw. ok maybe not puny, i aint that tall either. took a train down to lavender and met my mum and sis. made my ic. went to bugis. saw yiling and her friends. haha. hello yiling. then i got a new wallet. decided against the guess wallet. it's not really me.
anyway i'm kinda lost who i'm now. as much as i have feared. i've already lost myself. everyone knows what they want to do after exams. but i dont. so i've taken this day off to seriously reflect on it.
i had a haunting real dream yesternight.
i dreamt i was back in dhs.
i dreamt i was allowed to spend a day there as a dhs student again.
i dreamt of all the teachers and happenings the 3rd lang people had described to me on our journeys home. when they spoke of those wondrous things that had happened. i listened silently. drawing happiness from the stories that once seemed so close to my heart. i tried to cling on to these things that are rightfully not mine. not wanting to release my slipping hold on them. seeking solace in the dream i had yesterday. falling and not wanting to ever stop. watching the people go by but not stopping to say hello. but still i stopped. but no, i wont say hello.
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound.I'd take another chance, take a fall.I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground.